Flashcube.org

A movie containing all the finishing moves in Mortal Combat. Both funny and umm…. something else.

I took the “Are You A Real Man?” test and came out with as a “Total Jerk” at 33%. I think the question that pushed me over the top was “Do you like to kill your own food with your bare fists?” to which I responded, “Fuck, Yeah!”

Play Sushi Samarai at the CBC Kids website. Game play is exactly like Burgertime.

Someone has to do it.

When I first heard about the spray-on shirts designed by Fabrican I was mildly interested. I’ve seen it before in an episode of Futurama. But it wasn’t until I the saw the image to the left (originally taken by Forbes magazine) that I began to tingle and then think about the distinctly “adult” uses for such a product. I’ll let you fill in the blanks while I take a cold shower.

I have even a harder time walking.

Google Video is currently hosting a fascinating documentary from 1972 about the Arpanet. The Arpanet was the precursor to the internet invented by universities as a way of sharing information with each other and a way to be able to use the resources of each other’s computers. It was pretty exciting times. The first email had been sent and received just a year ealier. It would take another 7 years before the first Spam email would arrive.

The documentary is a half hour long so if it’s of interest then get comfortable. If it’s not, then watch this instead.

There has been a time or two where I thought it would be a good idea to start a cult. However, I always seem to get stuck at the particulars. I mean, no one just joins a cult. You’ve gotta give them a good reason. I was going to say eternal life but it seems like a everyone giving that away for free these days. Maybe a clock radio or something. let’s see those Kabalists one up that. Better yet, I’ll give every member of my cult (tentatively titled Awesomeology) a gravitizer. Now what you do with the gravitizer is completely up to you. Speaking for myself, I think it would make a good seat to bring to sporting events or watch a parade go by. Most people I’m sure will just use it to fuck (while watching a parade, of course).

Trek Passions is a online dating site for fans of Star Trek. Hey, I like green-skinned women as much as the next nerd I never realized that there was a need for this. Then again, maybe I should stay off the Romulan Ale and Klingon Blood Wine.

The Trinadad & Tobago Computer Society is offering a free downloadable CD full of Open Source software for Windows. Everything on the CD is Free (as in beer) and Free (as in Freedom). While I’m not on a PC I have used a lot of the software in either Linux or on my Mac. Personal favourites include Openoffice, Firefox, and Tuxracer. Check it out.

For some reason or another Visa doubled my credit card limit this week. I didn’t even ask for it but not being one to object I went looking around on ebay for shit to buy. One of the things I bought was Liquid Sky on DVD for about 15 dollars US which is a steal considering Amazon was selling it for over 200 bucks a few years ago. I assume it was reissued or something. Regardless, it’s a fantastic movie. Can I tell you what it’s about? Not really. I don’t think the film makers know what was it’s all about. This site seems to have a better grasp on the plot. I do know that it looks fantastic and the fashions are completely off the wall. You should get it on my recommendation alone. Really. If you don’t want to buy it then you’re welcome to watch it with me when the thing arrives in a week or so.

Two tastes that taste great together.

According to this website, almost no condiments taste good with communion wafers.

As if wasting one life wasn’t enough, now I have to ability to waste another an a massive multiplayer online game called Second Life. I downloaded the client (Mac and Windows), signed up for my free registration and then went at it.

Visually it kind of resembles The Sims but unlike it I don’t have to worry about bullshit like baths, sleeping or eating. Plus I have the ability to fly where ever I need to.

A couple of things that I have learned though. I can actually get a job as a dancer and that there are an improportionate amount of goth clubs. The other being that my character is a far better (and gayer) dancer than I am in my first life.

I really don’t socializing in Second Life but it is fun to explore because it is so fucking huge. One thing I enjoy is clicking the “Stop Flying” button as I’m hundreds of feet in the air. It makes for a much more enjoyable landing.

It’s amazing what you find when you use Stumbleupon to mine for new material. For instance, I found this page titled “THE LOST ART OF SEDUCTION OR HOW TO TRICK A WOMAN INTO LETTING YOU DO THINGS TO HER”.

Now maybe it’s me but isn’t seduction just another way of saying sleazy with a dash of charm. That’s the definition in the Flashcube.org dictionary next to “Awesome”. It’s a small dictionary.

The author continues as he details the things that a woman wants in a man. Most of it is common sense though I don’t know what to make of the last point though. I think you have to be British. What I’ll do though is add my comments in brackets next to the list as it pertains to me.

* Good looks (I don’t think I look too bad)
* Money (Working on it)
* Muscles (Getting there)
* A big nob (Will neither confirm nor deny)
* The ability to make a nice cup of tea (Red Rose, anayone?)
* Won’t hump a sex doll and make me watch (But couch cushions better watch out)
* Suaveness, savoire faire (Oui!)
* A vast libido (Vast like the Grand Canyon)
* Being sensitive (I’m a gentleman)
* Courtesy, good manners (Thank you very much)
* Doesn’t bugger geese on the living room carpet, right after I’ve hoovered (I have no idea what the fuck that means)

—snip—–MORE BULLSHIT—–snip——

But wait, there’s more

SOME ARTY BRIC-A-BRAC WOMEN MIGHT BE IMPRESSED WITH AND MIGHT LIKE TO COME IN TO SEE:

* Oil paintings
* Ming vases
* Rare books, films, LPs etc.
* Interesting pots or rugs or something

He’s right though - all ladies I know go crazy when I show them some “Interesting pots or rugs or something”.

Okay this is just getting ridiculous. Forget the website, I’ll tell you the steps I took to initially seduce my girlfriend, Flashcube.org style.

* Wore my Canadian Tuxedo (Jean jacket, Jeans)
* Flat-Ironed my hair
* Knocked back a few
* Said, “You’re awesome. Let’s make out”
* Swapped gum
* Arm wrestled
* Licked Frank’s Hot Sauce off a slice of pizza in attempt to impress

As you can see, I’m a real charmer. The funny thing is it actually worked. Holy fuck! I should write a book or something

An interesting article confirming that Arial is in fact the bullshit font we know it is. A good read.

Note: This will only be of interest to you if you’re a font nerd. If that isn’t you then feel free to ignore or berate me in the comments.

If you haven’t heard of Stereo Total then it’s your own damn fault. If you want a primer on what they’re about then you’re in luck because they’re offering a CD of rare tracks for you you to download and burn to CD complete with cover. Don’t just take my word for it, take Momus’

Of my first try of this game I got 9 out of a possible 10. Now what that infers is up to you. I call it dumb luck.

Here’s another blog that has far more compelling content than this one.

A historical artifact that’s not remotely safe for work. It brings up the thought that they just don’t make them like they used to and makes me yearn for the days when tan-lines were fashionable and cute.

Finally, a loss whose name was suspiciously absent during the Oscar’s. There really was no excuse for that seeing as he passed away a week previous. For shame.

Everyday is rowdy and gay.

Wow. My taxes may actually work out in my favour this year. Who knew that you could claim the interest paid on student loans. Apparently not me because in all the years I’ve been doing my taxes and the five I’ve been doing them online it never occurred to me. Then again, it’s not like I studied to be a fucking accountant.

In other news, New Age musician Yanni was arrested for allegedly beating up his wife. My take: his music may be wimpy but never, ever fuck with a guy with a mustache unless you want your ass beat.

A quick one while I’m watching The Oscar’s. The intro to The Simpsons as filmed in real life.