Stress Relief
Moving long distances is generally a pain and can be pretty stressful at the best of times. I was and still am feeling stressed about the entire ordeal so on a whim I typed up “stress relief” in Google and came across this. Now how is a website that makes you want to punch the screen supposed to relax you. I read about how the stars cope with stress but it just made me more upset because of their financial position in respect to mine. I tried watching their relaxation movies but got bored very quickly. After all that bullshit, I decided to compile a list of things that would help me get out of my stressful position. Here they are:
1. Cash Money. Some jackass said once that money doesn’t buy happiness, David Lee Roth once responded, “It might not, but it can buy me a big enough yacht that I can sail up right next to it.”
2. A Fulfilling Job. There seems to be some sort of discrepancy between the things I studied and the things I’m doing.
3. The Loving Arms of a Beautiful Woman. Preferably American. We’ll elope in Hawaii and send our respective parents the wedding Poloroid. Please and thank you.
4. An Accomplice. As per the song International Pop Overthrow by Material Issue.
Once I have those things I can take on the world and not flinch. Okay, maybe two of the four. Maybe one. Okay fine, number three.