Flashcube.org

I may not agree with President Bush’s politics but how can I argue his choice of pet. Barney is the Bush family Scottish Terrier and has his own page on the Whitehouse website. The Whitehouse staff clearly enjoy having him around as the majority of the photos of Barney are taken by them.

Now my preferred means of exercise is running as all it requires a decent pair of shoes and a willingness to get out there and go, go go. I’ve flirted with the idea of yoga but was turned off by all the metaphysical bullshit associated with it. And besides, to me a workout is something that when you’re finished you’re a sweaty disgusting mess that no one wants to be around. That’s why I’m heavy on the cardio. With that, there could be certain things that could coerce me to alter my workout regimen like the Better Sex Through Yoga program. I mean, really, who can argue with that. All doubts will be dispelled after watching the video.

Dir En Grey are easily one of the more popular bands in Japan right now. That still doesn’t change the fact that they fucking suck. They really, really, really, really do.
The interesting thing about Japanese popular culture is the strange mish-mash of different Western influences that they appropriate and create the circus-mirror version they call their own. Now on one hand the results can be really interesting because they aren’t slaves to context as we are, but on the other hand you get total garbage like Dir En Grey which has somehow taken all my least favourite things about music to create something utterly and completely awful. Maybe it’s the emotive-yet-crappy Asian ballad vocals. Maybe it’s the tepid half-baked music that it somewhere between the heaviness of Marilyn Manson, the plodding suicide drone of Staind, with a good heaping scoop of shitty J-Rock. Mostly I’m annoyed at anyone who takes their angst too seriously. Here’s an excerpt from their website:

Formed in 1997, with the sole purpose to spread the feeling of hurt and sorrow caused by weakness, shallowness and egoism of humanity. When they first formed, their expressions of pain came from struggling and writhe, hiding inside the feelings of hurt and suffering. But as time passed, their pain became a cry also a message. Now, Dir en grey has changed its target from Japan to the World.

FUCK! OFF! NOW!

I’ll say one thing about them; their fans are the most batshit crazy, fucked-up group of teenage girls I have ever seen. They are completely dedicated to the band and will destroy us all once the word is given.

In complete contrast to the Yarmulkebra is the Jen Magazine website created by the LDS kids in SLC. One of the tenets that Jen Magazine advocates is that of modest clothing which they handle in quite a nice manner unlike the shapeless garbage on this site. There’s a huge difference between being modest and wearing a burlap sack and calling it an outfit. Thankfully they know the distinction between fashionable and slutty. After all what would the prophet Joseph Smith think of that bare midriff.

You know it’s a slow news day at Flashcube.org headquarters when this is the best I can come up with. I’m no theologian so I can’t really tell you if it’s blasphemous or not (I’m leaning towards yes) but I think the general consensus is that these are fucking hot regardless of their religious insensitivity.

IQ Biometrix has an interesting piece of software called Faces which they market to police departments in order to create composite sketches of suspects (and album covers). I downloaded a demo version to try out for myself. The demo version is fully functional but is limited in the variety of features at your disposal. Still, it amused me enough to write this. You can download the demo here. It is Windows only and while I don’t own a PC I was able to use it perfectly fine using other means.

This is the last generation. This is the end times. Brother R. G. Stair will tell the truth with a capital T as he broadcasts his show 24-hours a day every single day until the end of time. A large part of Brother Stair’s broadcast is about how the end is coming PDQ and how most of us are pretty much fucked when it’s here. So while I haven’t subscribed to any one religion but generally being a fanboy of most I implore you to listen to him. Best way to listen: in the background while your doing something else. His rants are very hypnotic. His sermons are even better. My recommendations are “The Goat and Ram” and “Thunders of Revelation parts 1-6″. Not everyone’s a fan of his though.

At first I thought that this was a clever site directed at the relative sameness of IKEA design. Then my superhuman cognitive powers kicked in and I realized that this was a website set up by IKEA itself as some sort of advertising sleight-of-hand. If you’re gonna try and sell me something there’s no need for subtlety. Just hit me over the head with why I need to buy this thing right now and I’ll cave like the last piece in Jenga.

Get the facts! The fact is that I really know what to say about
this. Draw your own conclusions.

Dear me! What an incredibly awful game with no redeeming factors whatsoever. You know you’re still going to give a try though. Once you’ve done that bring your brain back into shape by watching an interesting and funny discussion when Jon Stewart comes by to visit C-SPAN’s American Perspectives show. Unlike his infamous Crossfire appearance he doesn’t call the host a dick and engages in some pretty interesting political discourse. It’s an hour long so get a beverage, snacks, and get comfy. The direct link to watch it is here. (RealPlayer required)

I know that when it comes down to the wire I going to throw together a costume before I head out to this year’s Halloween party. In the time leading up to it though I can harness the power of the internet to conjure up ideas for costumes. One certainty is that this is not even close to a consideration. This is a little closer to the mark. Were I bringing a ladyfriend I could be quite helpful is some costume suggestions. I’m always up for providing constructive feedback.

If there is an opening sequence to a movie that is more sexy than the zero gravity striptease that Jane Fonda does in Barbarella then I certainly haven’t seen it. It’s unfortunate that her career pretty much went downhill after this movie even though her 80’s workout videos are damn sexy in their own disturbing way. Well perhaps a way that only I can understand.

You can thank three men for writing and producing some of the best late-80’s British pop music and creating a sound which is only now being appreciated through such luminaries as Tommy February6. At their hottest, Stock, Aitken, & Waterman were responsible for 13 UK number 1 singles and 60 UK top 10 singles making them arguably the most successful British production team ever. It’s also no coincidence that Rick Astley, Bananarama, and 80’s-era Kylie had such distinctive sound not like that knock-off American variety that gave us the likes of that mall-touring debutante Tiffany.

Lots of exciting things are happening at the Anderson County Tennessee Detention Facility webcam. Watch as the receptionist answers the phone and shuffles paper. Also watch perps being brought in. Such is the life in Anderson County. Once you’ve reached your quota of excitement and intrigue pop over to the Anderson County Sex Offender Registry and look at the profiles and photos.

Wil Murray is having an opening at the Helen Pitt Gallery in Vancouver Friday evening. The opening begins at 7PM. I will be arriving drunk later on in the evening. Wil Murray is an excellent painter and friend of mine. Before anyone gets persnickety at me for not plugging their event I will outline the one rule for event listings on Flashcube.org: I only plug things I will be attending.

Now it’s not often that Dungeons & Dragons is seen as a cool. Some may say it’s damn near impossible as any D&D game is pretty much a sausage party. So how is it then that after going to this website and especially after watching this video I’m beginning to have a change of heart. Could it be the Dungeon Master with a cape and white t-shirt with “DM” written on it with a Sharpie? No, it’s the cute ladies that he’s playing with who are casting magic missiles and defeating giant centipedes unlike I’ve ever seen before. That just makes me tingle. C’mon, roll the 12-sided dice.

Part-time blogger Mason currently has a post on his website gloating about how much fan mail he gets and how wicked awesome he is. I cried and then I seethed. Not because Mason isn’t deserved of such accolades (even though he can be a bit ornery until you get some drink in him and he doesn’t update his site as much as I do) but rather that I happen to be on the absentee list of whatever admiration society he apparently heads.

I’ve been posting at this website almost 2 years now pretty much everyday (almost 750 posts) because I have no life, no girlfriend, and entirely too much fucking time on my hands. So the question is: Where’s my fucking fanmail, jerks?! Sure, on occasion someone will post something in the comments relevant to the post. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s informative. Never is it, “Oh Eric, you are so wicked awesome.” or “Eric, U R Kewl!!!! LOL LOL!!!! I luv U”

Yes, I’m jealous. Yes, I’m a whiny little brat. Yes, my ego needs to be checked at the door. But there’s one thing you’re forgetting; I have no shame whatsoever so if you’ve any nice things to say about me, say them now and say them loud in the comments or by email. You don’t even have to be sincere. In fact, the more insincere the better. I’d write accolades for myself under an assumed name if I didn’t spend all my creative energy on this website. You can post the most disgustingly nice thing you can think of and I’ll practically bathe in the attention. I don’t care who you are, if I’ve met you or not, if you’ve all your original appendages, or even if you actually hate me. I’d take a compliment from a monkey if they’d stop trying to eat the damn keyboard. Now’s your chance. No more hiding behind the screen. Make yourself known in your love.

UPDATE: The tally so far is two emails of which I am very, very appreciative. Soo……What the fuck!? As I have a good idea who is reading this on a regular basis I am shocked and appalled that I have received only two letters. You can do better than that. I will name names (first and last) of those who I personally know who haven’t sent me fan mail. As stated before you don’t even have to mean it or even like me. You can lie. I don’t care. Those who I don’t know are off the hook but a letter would still be appreciated.

Nice Game. Nice Music. Bounce back and forth on the