Archive for September, 2004

Duh-bate

Thursday, September 30th, 2004

A little known fact is that I love a good political debate. In fact during when the candidates for Canadian Prime Minister were debating, I sat there for two evening enraptured.

I listened online to the Bush and Kerry presidential debate and while I won’t cast judgment (as I believe that a totalitarian regime led by me is the true way to go), it’s still fun to listen to. C-SPAN has a stream of tonight’s debate in either Real or Windows Media format.

And of course a drinking game makes everything a lot more fun.

Your Best Feature?

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

bestfeaturepoll.jpg
This is by far the most popular poll I’ve put up here with a jaw-dropping 36 voters. Here are the results:

  • I know that at very minimum at least 8 of my readers have eyes; Beautiful ones I could lose myself in.
  • Another 5 voters have lips that they are very proud of; whether they be thin and wispy, full and luscious, or moist and kissable.
  • The voting was skewed for “Ass” because a certain jerk (hint: look in the comments) decided to vote no less than 3 times. The other voters look great in either tight jeans or skirts though.
  • 9 voters have tits and are proud of them as they should be.
  • 7 voters have a party in their pants. Everyone’s invited.
  • No votes for “Torso”. Perhaps I should have called it the more descriptive “midriff”.
  • 1 voter has an absolutely precious, perfect nose.

In the end “Tits” was the clear winner with 9 votes with “Eyes” coming in a close second at 8 votes. Am I proud of the results? How I could not be? Does it mean I’m still spending my precious evenings loveless and alone? Absolutely. But with these results I can seek solace knowing that when “Tits” win, I win.

Count Your Blessings……

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

that I manage to pour even a modicum of intelligence into this website. It could be worse. No really.

i hav a question 4 all of u ppl out there. Y DOES EVERY1 HATE ME??? i mean, im not that bad am i? i cnt believ some of the stuff ppl say on my livejornal. nd Y DOES EVERY1 ALWAYZ USE BAD WORDZ??? im sure we could rely live without them. SOME1 CALLED ME A PIG. IM NOT A PIG IM NOT FAT MY MOM SAYS THIS DIET IS WORKING OK?/? every1 dosnt undrstand me. nd my dad didnt f his little sistr!!! HE DOSNT EVN HAV A LITTLE SISTER OKY??? thats rely gross. i dnt know how ppl can even BE THAT WAY. OMG. if i grow up to be the presidnt im going 2 make sure that ppl arnt alowed 2 make stupid coments liek that. stuf liek that hurts rely bad oky? some1 caled me retarted :’|. IM NT RETARTED. nd i DO know about 9/11 i just made a little mistake. 4 every1s notice : IM NT GETING RID OF MY INTERNT CONNECTION. I LIKE IT ND I THINK ITS RELY COOL. sara is the only persn that understnds me. THANK U SARA UR THE BEST GURLFRIEND CALL ME 2NITE I NEED SOME1 2 TALK 2. im going. i hate all of u that posted on my LJ. except mike nd sara.
~*crystal*~

Suit up!

Tuesday, September 28th, 2004

braniff86.jpgI love a woman in uniform! Unfortunately Air Canada stewardesses have the misfortune of a pretty blasé one. The 70’s Pucci print Braniff uniforms are a vibe though.

8500

Tuesday, September 28th, 2004

main.jpgWhy?

I Love You! Egg!

Monday, September 27th, 2004

Iloveyouegg.jpgOnce again Carl earns a place in my good books by sending me this frightening link. I LOVE YOU! EGG! I think the egg loves me back because it played a song for me that made me cry. If I’ve any regrets it’s that I didn’t find this site first and that I didn’t write the egg song. But with teenage detectives like Carl prowling the internet and sending me links, I may be able to slack off a bit. If you’ve any links, send them my way. Really. I’ll credit you in the most flattering way I can.

Meat and Potatoes

Sunday, September 26th, 2004

Tired. No time for clever repartee. Just links: Lada Rider, Fametracker, Picture of cute kitten, High-class Smut Erotic Photography.

What’s New?

Saturday, September 25th, 2004

I’ve changed the colour scheme slightly this afternoon because I was bored. I’ve added a subtle background as well to liven it up. All this by editing an 8k text file. I think I got pretty much everything but if I happened to miss something let me know in the comments. As always, looks best in a standards-compliant browser.

Big, Bigger, Biggest

Saturday, September 25th, 2004

Bigger boobs via song. Yup. That’s the gist of a story I read in the Mainichi Daily News (thanks carl!). Apparently, thorough some sort of scientific mumbo-jumbo it actually works. But I was sceptical until I read this testimonial.

“I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped,” says Chieri Nakayama, a 19-year-old pin-up model “But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!”

Yes. Awesome indeed. Word is spreading fast so get the gettins’ while the gettins’ good.
I haven’t heard this song but if my experience with female physiology is correct then it sounds very, very similar to “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. UPDATE!!!! according to this site, this is the actual ringtone. Argh!!! Give me Journey instead.

“We haven’t done any advertising for it, so I suppose the tune’s success has come about through word of mouth. We’ve even received mail from one user who said they listened to the tune every night before going to sleep and it made her tits bigger.”

Not to be outdone the Flashcube.org lab monkeys have come up with a song that is guaranteed to make your cock bigger. Loosen your belt notch because here it is. My gift to you.

Fabio-lous

Saturday, September 25th, 2004

Ladies, here’s your chance to have lunch with Fabio.

Museum of Bad Art

Friday, September 24th, 2004

u-pop-unseen-12.jpgI would argue that the Museum of Bad Art is not inclusive enough but if you’re wanting to see some works that are truly cringe-worthy then look no further.

Hell: Reserved One Spot

Thursday, September 23rd, 2004

Everyone’s heard of Girls Gone Wild; the wildly popular set of videos featuring drunken college girls doing ultimately regrettable things. Even more recent is the reciprocal Guys Gone Wild proving still that drunken stupidity is not confined to a single gender. Finally of course comes Gimps Gone Wild. Yes, you heard me correctly. Now far be it for me to be judgmental but this is really kind of fucked up. I can be sensitive to the plight of the disabled as long as they keep their fucking shirt on. If they take it off then I can’t be held accountable for anything I say.

Emotion Eric

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004

It’s good to see another Eric who is doing something as compelling I am in their free time.

Weekly World News

Tuesday, September 21st, 2004

Not just in the line-up as your buying groceries, The Weekly World News has a website.
This weeks headlines; Kim Jong Il Turns Cannibal and The Joy of Geriatric Sex. You can’t go wrong there.

Kiss Off

Tuesday, September 21st, 2004

kissing.jpgI took the Are You A Good Kisser online quiz and came out with a 74 which is of course total bullshit because I like kissing like a dog likes steak. My score of 74 labeled me a “Casanova in the making”. I take offense in that. What, do I need lessons or something? On second thought that would make an interesting preamble to locking lips.

Lady: Pardon me sir, why are you so distraught?
Eric: Well to be honest I scored poorly on an online Kissing questionaire.
Lady: I wouldn’t take credence in such things.
Eric: The numbers didn’t lie. I got 74. I just know I’m better.
Lady: Oh you poor dear.

Biker+Fox=Bikerfox

Tuesday, September 21st, 2004

Don’t say I didn’t fucking warn you about this.

Wheelbarrow Freestyle

Monday, September 20th, 2004

w6sm.jpgDraw your own conclusions on this one. Either incredibly fantastic or proof that the evolutionary link between man and apes is a lot closer than we realize. This isn’t the Jetsons future I imagined 2004 to be.

Nerd vs. Nerd: everyone loses

Monday, September 20th, 2004

kirk.jpgThat’s it. I’m done with the internet. I can’t take it anymore. This site was the catalyst for it all. The Star Trek VS. Star Wars Technological Assessment. Here’s a passage from the Phasers vs. Lightsabre article:


Thus, the only clear example of energy absorption we’ve seen in Star Wars is when Yoda absorbed Dooku’s “Force lightning” in Attack of the Clones. However, suggesting that Force-users can absorb any energy because they can absorb Force energy is absurd.

2. There is no evidence of a wide-beam kill setting.

On the contrary:

1. “Frame of Mind”[TNG6] … Riker sets his phaser to maximum (setting 16), on a wide field, and comments that it should destroy half the building. (Yes, this was while Riker was mind-tripping, but Troi makes it clear that his mind was latching on to real-life elements to keep him sane during the neuro-somatic procedure. In short, there is no reason to assume that Riker’s understanding of phasers was affected.)

Why? Why do you have to ruin everything for me? That being said I did understand the quoted passage but just really care for it. I’ve seen the movies. I’ve seen the TV shows. I am not an Ewok or a Romulan nor do I care to speak Klingon. I just like being entertained. That’s all. It’s fiction. Get over it.

Silence Musical

Sunday, September 19th, 2004

Musical theatre has never really been my bag though I can appreciate the amount of time and effort it takes to create a cohesive set of songs that convey a strong narrative. Here is someone’s take on Silence of the Lambs. It’s quite good surprisingly.

Rah-Rah-Rosh Hashanah

Thursday, September 16th, 2004

rosh_tree.jpgL’shanah tovah, jerks! It’s Rosh Hashanah and this stupid gentile is celebrating by playing some games over at Torahtots. I could be learning more about the history of it but those games and mazes just sucked me in. I’m pretty easily amused so it doesn’t take too much. Like crafts for instance. Everyone loves crafts. Fuck, the crafts alone are enough to make me convert. That and of course Heeb Magazine. Yeah, I know I’ve featured it in post here before but I stand by my belief that all hipsters Jewish or not should subscribe. I’ve read an issue and it’s as fantastic as it looks. Now back to the games.