Flashcube.org

Most English majors will rejoice at content of this post in which the author details the variety of conversational cheap shots and why you should not use them in a sentance. While the authors intent is good, I don’t think that by merely posting a warning in an attempt to educate the user is enough. I believe by both recognizing when one is being used coupled with the proper responce would produce optimal results. I’ll illustrate this by quoting some of the examples from the site followed my responce (in bold):

The Over Your Head Cheap Shot

“I’d like to respond to that, but taking into account your background, education, and intelligence, I am quite sure that you would not be able to understand.”
“Understand this, motherfucker!”

The Hypothetical Insult

“Take this example: suppose you were a person who was incredibly stupid but was trying to come off as intelligent. What would the proper response be if you were me?”
“Well in a situation like that the first I’d tell you to fuck off. Then I would continue this verbal barrage by telling you how much of a fucking cockass you are and that your continued existance really brings no joy to the rest of the world. Failing that, I’d kick you in the nuts and piss on you.”

The Studies Have Shown Tactic

“Research at UCLA has proven conclusively….”
“And research at the university of Fuck You have shown me that you are a complete shithead. Now fuck off and die.”

It always feel great working towards the advancement of the English language. I can sleep soundly now knowing that I have brought light to your previous intellectual darkness.

Relive the 80’s, 70’s, and 60’s revivals today by watching these intros to your favourite television programs. Available in a variety of formats ranging from Quicktime to Windows Media.

I’ll confess that I had already made a deicision before this poll was even finished as it was an entirely transparent attempt to elicit sympathy. The good news is that my decision is refletive of the poll results. The bad news is that there are still a few cockasses (read: friends) in Calgary who refuse to acknowedge where it’s at and move out to Vancouver while continuing their masochistic ritual known as the 9-month prairie winter. Thanks to all who voted.

Nori has come along to clean out the the pipes so to speak. Maybe it’s just me but I would have an incredibly difficult time doing this and only do so as a result of losing an alcohol-induced bet.
Hmmm…. This looks like something that patchouli-reaking hippy was trying to sell me yesterday in front of the liquor store.

I think that at one point or another everyone has had a dream about a celebrity; some inocuous and some, well, questionable in content. Me, being a slave to my unconsious mind have had my share. Usually they involve Hollywood sexpot Jennifer Tilly and a game of tennis but that’s besides the point. Am I here to share the details of my dreams with you? No. I think some things are simply better left unsaid better than me playing a balancing act between discretion and humour.

Discretion loses in the case of the Celine Dreams website where fans recount their dreams featuring Canada’s horse-faced chanteuse and other reciprocate by interpreting them. Here’s a sampling:

Fan Dream #13
Dan, USA

I’d had a dream, or nightmare rather, about CÈline last night. I
don’t remember the premise, but I remember that she was dead. I was devastated !!! I remember being really upset. I remember thinking, “OMIGOSH, her Millennium Concert was her last performance, and I wasn’t there!!!” Then I remember thinking about how they are building this huge stage in Vegas for her come back that she wouldn’t be able to perform on. I know this isn’t much of a dream and there’s probably not a lot to interpret here, but I figured I would share. To my knowledge, it’s the only time CÈline has ever penetrated my dreams.

Interpretation of a fan dream #13

Dan, I just realized that your dream is number 13! Well, the nightmare you had is actually quite interesting. It tells us what kind of person you are. It feels like you are someone who sometimes makes impulsive decisions, and then tends to regret. You are a dreamer who likes to say “I wish I…” A little more context would reveal the real meaning of this dream.

Why? Why do I seek out shit like this when inevitably it makes me want ot curl up into a ball and cry?

Bikini Bounce is a rather silly game. However, in the quest for content it amused me enough to post it here. This game is in poor taste. So am I. What else is new. In fact, the game itself isn’t that fun. Just bounce, bounce, bounce on the bikini-covered breasts of some woman. Has it really come to this?

NoMarriage.com is a website by American men who have married foreign brides. It wouldn’t be so bad if they would just shut up and go with their lives but they’ve set up this website in order to tell us the virtues of foreign brides and to trash American women. Her’s a quote from an article

A huge percentage of American women are selfish, flighty, insecure, needy and psychotic, and quite capable of concealing those traits during the dating phase

White ‘career’ American chicks are the bottom of the barrel marriage-wise.

Foreign women from South America, Eastern Europe, and Asia are at the top. Only guys who travel (in other words, guys who are successful and ambitious enough to travel a lot) find these. But they never, ever go back.

Foreign-born women living in the US are the next best. They get married early…they are highly sought-after by American guys for their wifely skills (hell, any women who has ANY ability to be a wife is better than your average American chick, who knows NOTHING about being a wife)

Bottom of the barrel—white American chicks. Yecch.

Wow! You’d think that with talk like that these guys would regular male model types who are too good for mere American women. Think again.

Ummm….Yeah. Well perhaps if you didn’t look like so much a troll you’d find yourself a nice American lady. Not that there aren’t many lovely foreign ladies but don’t trash the local women because of your misgivings.

Now I’ve been on a mission to destroy the sanctity of marriage ever since it occured to me that it would really be something fun to do in my spare time. If I’ve any regrets thus far, it’s that I’m not on my second wife yet. That being said, I’m ready to walk down that aisle anytime, anywhere, with anyone. I don’t care because not only will I marry someone, but I’ll marry the shit out of them. After which we can get it anulled or beter yet a divorce and then laugh about the whole thing overs cocktails. How dare Britney have a whirlwind 55-hour Vegas marriage. I can do better than that.

Together we can stop these atrocities. Also, see what Maddox has to say about vegetarians.

Here are song songs that I have been listening to today. The list will be updated as the day goes on.
Polysics
Here’s a song called Modern. Fuck I love the Polysics! They sound like Devo on overdosing on crack cocaine. They are fast, loud, hard, and feature lots of keyboard. Plus the louder you play them the better they sound. About as polar opposite as you can get from Tommy February6.

Halcali
Halcali are a two-piece hip hop group out of Tokyo. The best way I can describe them is being the hip-hop equivalent of PuffyAmiYumi. While some Japanese hip-hop invariably sounds whack, these two 15-year-olds (yes, 15) have skills on the mic. Hear how they play off each other at speeds rivaling Busta Rhymes in the song Osutukare summer.

Communication
The song Communication originally appeared on Yuki’s incredible album Commune which came out early last year. It is probably my favourite song off the album even though it was never even a single. So it’s interesting to hear a cover of it no less than a year later off Suneohair’s album Fuyo No Tsubasa. While most of his album is pretty boring pop/rock the cover of Communication is a standout. Most likely because he didn’t write the damn thing. I still prefer the Yuki version though. Here’s Yuki’s version. Here’s Suneohair’s version. Also worth listening to is the song Sentimental Journey off Yuki’s Commune.

If you missed the Scissor Sisters show last evening in Vancouver, shame on you. If you did go and want something to read to supplement their absolutely incredible performance, here’s an interview from Butt Magazine featuring two of Jake Shears’ former sexual partners. Also, for the dudes who like dudes there are saucy photos of him in various stages of undress.

Spins a web any size.
Catches thieves just like flies.
Look Out! Here comes the Spider-Man.

Yes, Eric. Enough with the Japanese shit already. Yes, yes, yes, I know. Here’s a 6-page summary on several of the highlights in Japanese arcades currently. I’ve actually played the game in the photo below. I didn’t get past the first level despite the fact that I had help from a friend. It didn’t help that I don’t any coordination for that type thing - which is why I play ukulele and guitar. We were also very, very drunk. In fact, I’ve never played that game sober.

Do you ever notice that I have no original content and really just link to other people’s far more entertaining websites? That being said why should I stop now. It’s Secret Fun Spot! And no that isn’t a euphemism for something dirty but rather a website with far more things that this preamble can even describe.

Fetish Gossip is a wonderfully catty weblog about the Southern California fetish scene. While not the PVC or leather-wearing type myself, I can’t help but enjoy the sheer bitchiness of it. Here’s an excerpt:

IvyRed is broke. Or at least that’s what we hear. It seems Miss Red, or as I like to refer to her as, “the hottest MILF in Fetish”, has blown quite a bit of money on “dubious” web site investments.

Fearing her 6 kids might be left out in the cold without proper shelter and nurishment she has taken to shooting with photographers who are less than credible. Namely, Mr Collin Rae. She has apparently traded her skills as a model for a bag of groceries. No, not like a week’s worth of groceries. But a bag. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

We are setting up a trust fund in the name of Ivy’s 6 children, to do what we can so these poor children aren’t forgotten while mommy earns her bucks letting Collin Rae drool on her feet. Despite what you think, FG cares.

Good luck Ivy, our prayers are with you.

I’ve several songs that I’m waiting to record so in the interim here are some old songs of mine that you may like:

Video Art Recorded sometime around 1995 or 1996. I play everything everything on it except the drums which are ripped off and looped from Ringo Starr. What I lack in virtuosity I make up for in loudness. I still enjoy it.

Oh Dear Me! The first song I wrote when I moved to Vancouver in 1999 when literally all I had was a suitcase, a ukulele, and a clock radio. Recorded in one take on one microphone which happened to catch the phone ringing near the end of it. I recently relearned how to play it after forgetting about it for a few years.

Postmodern From around 2001. Eric being pissed off at artists. Okay, I suppose. I liked it more a few years ago. A little bit too much Belle & Sebastian for my tastes though the few people who have heard it like it.

This Phobia List is not so much a list as a checklist of my own hangups. Let see:

• Acrophobia- Fear of heights. Yes.
• Apiphobia- Fear of bees. Absolutely. I hate those things.
• Atychiphobia- Fear of failure. Yes.
• Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns. Get those things away from me.
• Ereuthrophobia- Fear of blushing. Yes. Something I can’t seem to help.
• Katagelophobia- Fear of ridicule. Yes.
• Necrophobia- Fear of death or dead things. Yes. Especially if that dead thing is me. I’m to cute to die.

Can’t seem to keep their hands off each other according to the Drudge Report.

Stephen Merritt casts forth his opinion on the current state of pop music.

When Hallmark fails you, you can always send one of these.

Tommy Feburary6 have recently released a new single called LOVELY sweet boy. I was able to get a hold of the video through the usual channels and I can say that the new video is nothing short of fantastic. In the four minutes that comprise this entertainingly surreal video following things happen:

• Dances with Pikachu
• Buys toy soldier and uses it for a microphone for the rest of the video
• Pokemon magically creates two Queen’s guard
• Queen’s guard threaten to shoot two American indie-rock nerds
• Cheerleaders appear and dancing begins
• Japanese old-school breakdancers in the background busting it
• American rockabilly kids looking cool and dancing. Suddenly everyone busts into synchronized Pete Townshend-style windmill air guitar
• Startlingly bright café scene. Everything is lit. Floors, ceiling, walls. More dancing.
• All characters spell out the word LOVELY with their arms in front of a fountain
• More dancing. Thought bubble of Pikachu appears.
• Pikachu appears and the café get even brighter. Everybody is dancing now.

Holy shit! That was the best fucking four minutes of my life. Everyone must see this video. I will post it for people to see, but seeing as it’s a 200mb MPG. I’ll give out the address by request only as to not kill my bandwidth. Oddly, I was only able to get it to play properly in VLC. Mplayer or Quicktime couldn’t deal with it. Just the thought of watching it again gets me so excited I could crap my pants.

Dance Motherfucker Dance!