Brutally honest personals
Esquire magazine is running a story on brutally honest personals. It’s actually quite a good deal. You submit your brutally honest personal to them, if they run it in the magazine or website, you get an Esquire email address. Here’s an example from the website.
Buried under a mountain of credit-card bills and debt from spending like Paris Hilton on a bender, I live in the lousy part of Jersey City with three dogs and two rats, named Ratso Rizzo and Albino Andy. My dogs misbehave and are small toy poodles—the kiss of death for any man. I am a runner and an actress, but I am forced to do bad interactive murder mysteries that I refer to as “leading parts in off-Broadway plays.” Even though I run marathons, I still can’t lose those few pounds. But I can probably kick someone to death with my legs of steel.
May 25th, 2004 at 17:27 PM
Name: Melissa K
Age: 30
Height: 5″11
Weight: 150-160? - My scale is broken b/c I threw it at my ex’s head.
Occupation: Unemployed Scientist (read: clandestine chemist)
Last time had sex: Can’t remember, because I was either too drunk or stoned.
As a boozy, Amazonian dominatrix, I put the “freak” into control-freak. My rage attacks are the stuff that legends are made of, so make sure you do it my way the first time. Although I am the life of the party, largely due to my drug habit, the night invariably ends with me in tears, as I have lots of issues and baggage, real and imagined. This feature couples nicely with my OCD “counting” tendencies. Despite the fact I am a chronic underachiever, I think that I am smarter than you, and will let you know it. I cannot refrain from talking during movies, sorry. I am rarely in the mood for sex, because I always have a stomach-ache. Unless I am drunk, of course.
Redeeming qualities: Your mom will love me because I will tell her all your secrets. Your dad will love me because I will flirt with him shamelessly. You will love me because I make a good lemon-meringue pie.
Anyone interested?