Here’s a mildly amusing movie about baby chickens and what you shouldn’t do with them. Takes forever to load but only produces a mild giggle. Yes, it’s late and I need content for this site to fill my daily quota of garbage for you. Please, be kind.
Mildly amusing.
Here’s a fun trampoline game for you to play. I seem to be exceptionally good at the “land-on-your-head” trick.
Sex and death do make strange bedfellows but are successfully paired in the Kinky Casket website. The website features a variety of photo essays with several women draped over coffins. The images are soft-core (lots of skin, no visible nipples or genitalia) so use your discretion. From an outsider’s point-of-view I understand little about these kinds of fetishes as they do little to *ahem* arouse any interest in me. However, if my suspicions hold there is a latent audience. I just don’t want to meet them.
While this website often times serves as a vehicle for shameless self-promotion, my close friends have wondered why I don’t use it as a vehicle to promote any other talents that I have. So fine, I’ll relent. Here are two songs from a total of fourteen that a friend helped me record a few months ago. The first song “The Star” is just my voice and a ukulele. The ukulele is drenched in echo to give it an odd otherworldly effect. In the second song “S” I triple-tracked my vocals and played some really bad xylophone near the end. It helped that the song was in the key of C. Yes, the songs are sappy but at least the words rhyme.
The Audi-oh sound responsive pleasure system is the latest breakthrough in personal stimulation devices. What separates it from the competition is its ability to convert sound waves from either ambient noise or music into pleasurable vibrations. It can channel sound two ways: through the built-in microphone or from a direct audio-in port. As difficult as it is to believe, somewhere in the world experts in the field of pleasure technology are creating a device that will outdo even this. In the interim, enjoy the Audi-oh.
This is not a walkman. That is not an earbud.
Granted it is summertime and most of us wish we could be spending our afternoons on the beach. But in the quiet, contemplative evening let’s make snowflakes.
Here’s an excellent resource reviewing the places to take care of one’s business in the city in which I live. Add your own review of your favourite spot as well.
Come visit a place where people can bitch about there ex-something-or-other’s that isn’t a quilting bee. Come post the name, occupation, and other revealing information about the one that done you wrong and left you bitter and lonely.
It’s common knowledge that I can’t seem to take care of my own affairs let alone that of a dependent. But if I really, I mean really, really tried I’m sure that I could take care of just one plant. I’m thankful that there are websites out there to help me should I ever delve into horticulture. You grow girl!
This website has been around for a long time is probably the best resource on the internet for debunking fake nude celebrity photographs. He goes to incredible lengths to solve the cases and always manages to track down to the source photographs of both the celebrity’s head and the body shot that it was Photoshopped onto. Ratings are then given based upon the quality of the fake. Not so much a resource of wanking material as it is a resource on how to do both good and bad photo manipulation. Worth a look.
Once again proving that I am a person with entirely too much free time on his hands is a story about a newborn that makes my birth weight look decidedly small in comparison. Kudos to the lady gave birth to it.
Esquire magazine is running a story on brutally honest personals. It’s actually quite a good deal. You submit your brutally honest personal to them, if they run it in the magazine or website, you get an Esquire email address. Here’s an example from the website.
Buried under a mountain of credit-card bills and debt from spending like Paris Hilton on a bender, I live in the lousy part of Jersey City with three dogs and two rats, named Ratso Rizzo and Albino Andy. My dogs misbehave and are small toy poodles—the kiss of death for any man. I am a runner and an actress, but I am forced to do bad interactive murder mysteries that I refer to as “leading parts in off-Broadway plays.” Even though I run marathons, I still can’t lose those few pounds. But I can probably kick someone to death with my legs of steel.
The infinite cat project is a website that tries to create a chain of images of cats looking at a monitor which bears the image of the last image in the sequence. I know it’s difficult to get any cat to cooperate for anything but still they’ve just passed the 100th image in the chain. Add your cat to the chain.
Everybody likes cats.
Surprisingly not mine. Check it out.
Enjoy graffitti without the vandalism. Mark up imaginary walls with your favourite saying and images. Fun. Fun. Fun.
About a week and a half ago I posted a contest in which those who entered would visit the Mr. Picasso Head website and create an image for me to judge. The winner of which would get a mix CD. I liked all the entries and am glad that you took the time to send them to me. But there can only be one winner. They all though warrant discussion.
Most Scattered: DSD Excellent use of colour and shape. Abstract, yet concrete. Nice.
Most Mysterious: Anonymous Like an austere Hitchcock.
Most Childlike: Graeme Pastel blue and yellow. Together at last.
Most Solemn: Mason Where does he come from? Why is he singing “The Reflex”?
Most Heartbreaking: Nikki 19 year old boys watch out!
Most Mischievous: Susy & Sasha Will just as soon kick your ass as pinch it.
Most Sassy: Lex Like watching Fashion TV circa 1988 and not giving a fuck.
Most Artistic: Timmy Tapeworm So well executed I thought it was fake.
Most Accurate: Xelif Despite the abstract nature a surprisingly accurate portrait.
The Winner is: LEX!
All of the entries were great. Most of them were fabulous and I thank you for entering. However, Lex did something that all those who entered did not. Lex had the audacity to ask if I could rig the contest in her favour. Now before your get all riled up, take note that never have I said that these contests were fair or unbiased. Also ask yourself why you’ve never asked me to rig it for you. That’s the real shame. The truth however is they’re all rigged and always have been. I’ve just never advertised the fact. So remember when next I post a contest, that I’ve always been selling out, but no one’s ever been buying.
If you have problems, I mean, embarrassing problems then this place will certainly help you to deal with them. Things I’ve never even heard of let alone would want to get can be solved here. Except for Herpes. In which case you’re totally fucked.
This Wednesday evening I will playing a game of soccer at the victoria park field in Vancouver at 7pm. If you’ve ever wanted to see me sweaty, panting and absolutely disgusting now is your opportunity. But don’t just watch, participate! Bring your cleats if you’ve any and proper athletic attire (tank top, tennis skirt, hair scrunchie). To give credit where it is due, I am not the organizer of this event. Rather it is gentleman named Duncan.
The results of my sex poll are in. Discuss below, you filthy beasts.
It’s Morphin’ Time. Taking Power Rangers and adding a Christian slant. Here’s an excerpt from an upcoming adventure:
There is a Cult leader named Davis. With his Merger Crystal he can merge his followers with objects and turn them into Merger Creatures. Five Christians uncover a hidden cavern beneath their church and find the five Watches. They transform into the Power Rangers and defeat Davis’s Merger Creatures by Unmerging them, then explain what Jesus did for them. (Each Ranger outfit has a Cross on it)
We’re I not completely tired because of this weekend I would be inclined to write more. Until I regain my strength though, here’s a picture of Oolong.
