Flashcube.org

William Shatner is set to revive his music career by recording a new album. More information is available both here and here.

The entire idea of children’s beauty pagents sort of creeps me out. It’s not that some kids aren’t cute but dolling up a 4 year old in an evening dress and make-up can be a bit unnerving. The only thing even more disturbing are the parents of these childen as they live vicariously through these kids in order to fill the hole in their empty, meaningless lives. So, if you want to see a webpage put together by the mother of some beauty pageant kids, click here. But if you want to play a slightly amusing online snowbarding game, click here.

Here’s an interesting link on commercial products mentioned and popular music and what brands are the most popular as well as which artist name drops these items the most.

Hello friends,

I have been at my parents for about three days now and have learned the scope of human endurance. Whether it be how far one’s stomach can distend after being filled with Christmas cheer and food or how much wine and spirits one can drink without appearing a lush arround the in-laws.

Again, I have retained the title of “favourite uncle” to my neices and nephew. They like me because I can talk to them about the crap they like with a very good degree of knowledge. In fact, just this afternoon my niece and I had a lively debate on the merits of Britney vs. Christina. We both like Christina better as Britney’s new album is weak.

They show their appreciation in strange ways though. Usually this entails all of them taking out an appendage. With five of them in total it can be pretty difficult to escape. The worst part is they get bigger every single year.

I brought my iPod with me to keep me entertained and hooked it up to the computer speakers. My mom calls it my “little special thing”.

I have taken a liking to taking a sauna several times a day. My dad showed me a way to trick to temperature guage so that it get even hotter than it’s really supposed to go. I’ve been able to get it up to around 200 degrees Fehrenheit at which point I experience euphoria. I’ve never taken any hallucigens but I suspect after spending 2 hours in a sauna the experience is quite similar. Most of time though I close my eyes and pretend I’m in Maui. Which, had things gone according to plan, I would be right now.

wuv,
Eric

On more than one occasion I have seen this during one of my sauna hallucinations. What does it mean?

Having arrived safely in Calgary I thought it appropriate to post this link as it pokes fun at my favourite means of transportation.

See a lawnmower shot by armor piercing bullets while it’s running, no less. (Quicktime required)

A close friend sent me a photo yesterday of her and I taken during the summer before my hair was long and glinty. It was the day after a wedding. In her words:

It has become one of my favorite photos. I think we look like royalty caught by a photographer in on of our precious moments of repose.

I like the photo. This is my website and I will post it.

The Roommate enticed me from my hangover-induced nap to go to the new Daiso store in Richmond. Daiso is a store that sells discount goods and is very popular throughout Asia with over 2400 stores. The Richmond store is the only one that exists outside of Asia. Oh yes, and everything is $2. And by everything I mean every fucking piece of plastic crap, every pa-ra-ra notepad, every lemon-scented moist towelette, and every mystery Asian snack . But I guess it’s pretty easy to drive the price down when the minimum lot of any item manufactured for the store is 10 million. It’s the model of efficiency as when you finally do ring up your purchases they basically count the number of items and double it.

The outside of Daiso looks like a Mondrian pianting. Somehow I managed to spend over $80 on things I may or may not have needed but look fucking great. It’s a bit of a journey to get to if you live in Vancouver but it’s well worth checking out. I’m a better person because of it because, fuck, look at all this shit I got! It’s tantamount that I bring someone else when I go next. Please make arrangements in the comments.

Thank you for shopping at Daiso.

A friend of mine claims to have the cutest dog in the universe and she even so much as sent a photo of it wearing a rather festive santa suit. That’s a pretty big claim and one that is rendered moot when having a look at the real cutest dog in the universe. Hello Mr. Winkle.

Disgruntled housewives trade information about their former significant others (read: dicks) in order to protect each other from their amorous advances and schemes.

Oh my god! I made the list! I should really watch the things I do in San Diego, Florida, Rhode Island, Ohio, Georgia, and Denver as my reputation seems to precede me.

The guideposts for teens website has provided a 100 item list of things that teens can do instead of “it” when dating. The list is even funnier if you treat each item as a veiled phrase for “it”. For example:

Boy: Sure, I was drunk and amorous but so was she. Next thing I know we were “Lip-synching to the Oldies”.
Boy’s friend: Really? You actually “Jumped on a trampoline”. You dirty dog!!

ewwwww!!!!!!

Jellybath. Enough said.

I’ve been accused of having a bit of a Laissez-Faire attitude lately. Now whether that has to do with the fact that I’ve reached some sort of epiphany or a chemical imbalance has yet to be determined though I’m opting for the latter. And despite all of this there are still a few things that I simply will not do now or forever be it under duress or my own free will.

• I will also never admit that the entire reason that I go to parties and socialize with large groups of people is to feed my inflated self-worth by feeling like I am doing them a favour by giving them the pleasure of meeting an individual as talented and as engaging as myself.
• I will never limit the colour palette of my clothing and accessories to reflect my complexion. I am a spring.
• I will never reveal that “Dude, where’s my car?” is one one of the best surrealist comedies ever put to film.
• I will never enjoy eating brussel sprouts as I cannot get the image out of my mind that I am eating little green brains
• I will never truly understand post-modernism as I feel that it doesn’t even truly understand itself and it seems be an anti-movement by telling us everything it doesn’t stand for rather than everything it does.
• I will never like dogs more than cats.
• I will never shy away from telling people that this website is borne of self-aggrandizement and that it serves to feed my ego whenever someone posts in the comments - even if they say I’m an asshole. I am.
• I will never not scheme.
• I will never truly like pears as I ultimately see them as sub-standard apples.
• I will never be happy with the fact that Eric’s 2001 wasn’t the same as Kubrick’s 2001. Still no Pan Am flights to the moon and back.
• I will never be happy with the battery life on my digital camera.
• I will never really ever learn to appreciate jazz or blues.
• I will never not in the midst of a creative project of one sort or another.
• I will never know when to quit.

I will never get as many piercings as the gentleman in the above photo

It’s difficult to be an activist when you’re as busy as I am. However, there are other ways to help bring peace to the world. I’m doing my part. What about you?

Here’s a lovely little flash movie for all to enjoy.

All the fun of doing the quizzes without the hassle of buying the magazine. It features great quizzes like,
“Are You Cool or Downright Cold?”, “Who’s your summer-movie leading man?”, and “Has Spring Fever Got You Boy Crazy?”. I did the “Who are your style icons?” and came out with this.

Your icons: Michael Michele, Katie Holmes, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts.

ÔøºLike these classic dressers, you always look perfect. Okay, so you don’t take too many fashion risks, but since you so obviously know what suits you, why bother? Your style icons rarely make those worst-dressed lists because they wear simple colors and well-cut clothes that flatter their figures. If you’re looking for some new additions to your closet, you can continue your polished style with simple button-down shirts or tank tops in crisp beige or white from stores like Old Navy and Gap. And if you want to indulge, treat yourself to a camel-colored leather skirt — it may cost a little more, but you’ll be wearing it forever.

I’ve been longing for the website that speaks to my heart and Modern Drunkard Magazine is the answer. Featuring such articles as Etiquette for Inebriates, 365 Reasons to Get Soused, and Above and Beyond Last Call. So with that, who wants to go out drinking this weekend?

The next time I’m on the job market I can be rest assured that my resume is not nearly as messed up as this one.

Help celebrate this holiday season by making pile upon pile of paper snowflakes from old discarded phonebooks and bank statements. Je suis fun!

Clowns fucking creep me out. Perhaps it’s born out of a distrust of anything that unnaturally happy. Plus they want to hug me and I hate that. Not hugs mind you, but hugs from fucking clowns. That’s just wrong. Oh yes, here is a link to The Clown Museum - a website devoted to clowns and the art of clowning.

This guy wants to hug your kids.